“Guidelines for Achieving Success in All Areas of Life: 12 Rules to Follow”

LIFE can be hectic, life can be cruel, and life can be unfair. The struggle is real. We women are creatures filled with emotions. Maybe because of that, we can sink ourselves into a pool of depression. Many women have asked me, if is it possible to create the life you want, to be contented, to be balanced. There is a high possibility that you can live the life that you are longing for if you practice these Twelve Rules for Balanced Women. It is hard to practice them at first, but once you master them, you will have a beautiful and balanced life.

1. Decide

You don’t find balance. You create it. Balance is not something you stumble upon when you wish it. As a woman, wife, mother, and leader, I have to make conscious decisions every day, “Which one comes first?” “Which one should I prioritise?” The decision for family, for myself and work. I am constantly at guilt, for not having enough time or having enough money for everyone that needs me, but one must learn how to live with guilt. Decide, plan, make a commitment and go for it.

2. Create your vision

To be balanced, you need to have clarity about what you want. I map out the vision I have for my life. Sound cliche? I can tell you it all manifests beautifully. I have always known what I want. God doesn’t necessarily give me the best all the time, and sometimes sends me the wrong ones, but if you are very clear with your direction, map it out go for it, and you will reach the destination you want to be.

3. Honour your boundaries

Many women struggle with boundaries. We don’t know where we should have them. We don’t want to seem pushy, and we don’t want to make people angry. But you need to protect what’s important. Once you are clear about what you want, setting boundaries and keeping them in place is vital so you can focus on what matters to you. Without them, it’s just a slippery slope to that hot, crazy mess you don’t want to be. Work out where you need your boundaries to be and lock them down with super glue.

4. Know what works for you

Don’t try to replicate someone else’s life. You need to be true to yourself. Your best friend might get up to run every morning at 5.30 am but you prefer to sleep as long as you can. Stop judging yourself for what you do. Notice the elements that make you thrive and then implement them consistently. The only person you need to make happy is you. So do what works and remember, don’t judge your insides by someone else’s outsides.

5. Be a success, but not at any cost

Balanced women know about success, and they have their own definition of what it means. For some it is a career accolade, for others, it is running a happy home. But all balanced women know where to draw the line before success starts to come at too high a price. Determine what you want your success to look like and keep it in check, put your boundaries around it and look after yourself while you get it. There shouldn’t be a price to pay for getting what you desire. Live your life on your terms.

6. Ignore the naysayers

You can hear them scoffing when you mention the word “balance”. They are the ones who say it’s a pipe dream. They don’t know any better. But you do. You know that just because others say you can’t have it, doesn’t make it true. You know you can create this life because you have seen other successful women do it. You know it’s possible, so ignore the naysayers. Create your path.

7. Put your well-being first

Did you always put other people first before you? Many women do. It’s not just in our nature to put ourselves at the top of the list; it needs to be. You need to be well to live a balanced life. You must look after your health and vitality to live your best life. Make your priority and bring colour back into your life.

8. Ask for help (and accept it)

Where is it written that you must do this all on your own? You don’t. Ask for help. Balanced women know that it’s a sign of strength to reach out to others. This one is super important. Work out who can help you and ask them. I have found that people rarely say no and genuinely want to support you in creating the life you want to live.

9. Tune in

We all have voices in our heads that guide us through our days. Often, it’s the bitchy voice that tells us we are not good enough, that our thighs are too fat and that we can’t have what we want. Well, it’s time to tune her out and tune in to the nurturing inner voice that is our intuition, our inner guide, who knows what is best for us. Bring some silence into your days so you can tell the good voices from the bad, and learn to trust your inner wisdom, your inner goddess.

10. Learn to meditate

The fast track to hearing and trusting your inner guide is through meditation practice. Balanced women get over the fear that they can’t meditate and learn to sit with the practice that can change everything. I ask my coaching clients to sit for five minutes twice daily in stillness, eyes closed, following the breath. When thoughts come and go, gently bring your attention back to your breath. Gradually you can extend this time. But just five minutes can be life-changing. Give yourself this gift of time and space as it is a core piece of the balance puzzle.

11. Manage your energy

Most people think of time as the most critical resource. But balanced women know that energy is the most important currency they have. What builds your energy? What or who depletes it? When you are bursting with positive vibes, what are you doing or who are you with? Nourish, nurture, and restore your body, mind, and spirit. Your energy will thank you for it.

12. Make no apologies

As women, we spend so much time apologising. We say sorry for the small things, and we say sorry for the big things. Stop apologising for yourself, your opinions, your choices. Own what you want, what you do, who you are and everything in between.

Dato' Sri Rosz